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On Sunday I headed to a local park, Weald Park in Brentwood, with my brother, his girlfriend Emma, their puppy dachshund BK and my furry running partner April.  The intention was to walk the dogs and then I would run and that is what I did.

I am happy to run in the mud and dirt and as I have an OCR this Saturday I thought it a good opportunity to get to the park, do some trail running, play on some obstacles and get dirty.

April is my furry running partner and she’s not a puppy but I’m fairly certain she thinks she is.  She has the energy of a puppy and runs around like a loon.  I moan about having to stop a lot when running with her as she has a weaker bladder than me (which is quite hard) and pees every two minutes, even my brother and his girlfriend noticed and I was like yep thats why my runs with her are stop start stop start.

She is funny though – ran straight for the lake and thought she could walk in only to find it was a ledge and promptly disappeared!  I laughed as I knew she would be ok – she’s a lab and any sign of water, even a little puddle, and she’s in it!  My brother and Emma, however, looked a little worried like we should help but I said no she’ll be fine and then she reappeared.

April is normally very well behaved and yet a big coward but with BK she was one naughty pup and would not listen to a word I said.  So I was ok with the fact she had a long walk and then I took her on a run with me.

The park has a lot of wooden elements based around the children’s story book The Stick Man and I figured this was a good excuse to get on them before my next OCR event this weekend.

Now I cannot lie there were a lot of parents who did seem to keep their kids close rather than let them run on the playground activities (which I saw as OCR obstacles) near the crazy lady (me – in case that was not clear) who was running around covered in mud.

Everyone was avoiding the mud and I was running straight through it without a care in the world.  I even ran through a stream and at the end I saw a lady probably in her 60’s just staring at me like I had just escaped from a local mental hospital.  I should have been embarrassed or ashamed but I could not have cared less – I was having a blast!

You would think this would have been good practice but I was still pretty useless on most activities – managed a whole two monkey bars (don’t get jealous), my foot went through the cargo nets every time and as I was running through the forest I ran straight into a huge branch – so Saturday at Nuclear Fallout 12k should be fun (for those in the group with me who can laugh at me)!

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Obviously I can breathe when I run otherwise I would just end up in a heap on the floor.

BUT

I puff and pant as I run.  I know I am doing it.  I struggle with getting my breath to be natural and genuinely find this element of running hard.  I’m not sure I’ve yet had a run where I thought I wouldn’t finish because of my legs but definitely have from the breathing or simply not being able to catch my breath.

So something I need to work on and so this week I went for a 4 mile run with the hubby and tried to listen to his advice and concentrate on my breathing.  It was cold, and dark but was a comfortable run and almost at my usual pace so I was pleased.

I then ran to and from the gym for my pilates class and it’s only half a mile and yet on the way there it didn’t feel comfortable at all.  On the way home it did but still not as comfortable as the 4 mile run.  It didn’t make sense to me that 4 miles felt easier than half a mile and even after the half a mile I still looked like a sweaty tomato.  Every time I exercise I go from normal to this guaranteed.

I had intended to do Park Run on Saturday and was going to try and run home too in a bid to get some longer runs in or at least longer than I’ve ever done before.  However, I ended up doing the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park 10k run with my lovely friend Helen.

Now you know when you go on a run or a bike ride and you have a route or road or hill that is your nemesis well the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park 10k run is my nemesis run and route.  Don’t get me wrong I would recommend this event to anyone – it’s local enough, only £17 (or £15 if you are part of an affiliated club) and you get a medal and a goody bag.  The people involved are all lovely and there are photos available after as well.  Despite all this I just find this a tough run.  I’ve done enough 10k’s now and I this one just seems to get me every time.  It is three laps and I dislike laps with a passion.  It is what they describe as undulating.  They needn’t describe it as I feel it as I run every single lap.

After my 4 mile run I had high hopes for the 10k and in my head I wanted one of two things – either to complete the run with no walking or to get a finish time of sub 1 hour.  After the first lap I remembered that this is not my favourite run, as per usual I went off way to quick and my breathing was shot to bits.  My only goal became to finish it.  It was raining and windy and I was dressed in full length running leggings and a long sleeved running top but it was not cold at all so I was pretty hot – got what to wear completely wrong!  This was how the run made me feel 🙁

My poor friend Helen was super supportive as always and ran with me through my puffing, panting and moaning.  Here is a pic of us on the final lap and it says it all about how Helen feels when running and how I feel.  We finished after what felt like hours and hours but was actually just over 1 hour and 1 minute.

When I checked my Strava I was surprised to find that it turned out to be a PB for me for the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park 10k run and showed that every run I have done there showed an improvement on time.  It also confirmed that I had gone off way too quickly yet again at a pace I cannot maintain!

So I learned two things that I need to work on – my pace and my breathing!

If I am honest after the run I got in the car (did I mention my lovely hubby turned up in time to see me on my final lap after an evening shift of overtime) and I was pretty disappointed with myself but after some lovely words from my hubby and Helen I realised I am improving all the time and my progress compared to this time last year is huge and I am pleased with that and will carry on!  And I lost half a pound this week too!

I’ve lost my running mojo!

I’m not sure I could honestly say I ever had a running mojo but I would get out there and do it regularly as planned and even recently joined a running club.

I suppose you have to love running to have a mojo whereas I want to love it but just find it hard!  I puff and I pant, I sweat and I go bright red almost immediately.

It’s so miserable now with it being pitch black by the time I get home from work and I have to wait a good hour and a half until run club starts on a Tuesday and a Thursday and I’ve ended up doing other exercise instead so not a total loss but I know my next run will be a struggle.

I find when I miss runs or don’t run for a while that it takes a bit to get me back into it.

So how do I get my running mojo back?

Do I stop going running with the club and instead head out earlier on my own?

I am aware that I have put in for my first half marathon in March next year and so need to keep up with my training for three reasons:

• The furthest I’ve run is 10k and I do feel like that’s my limit at the moment so need to keep running and also increase the distance.
• The half marathon I’ve signed up for apparently is not easy and quite hilly – brilliant I hate hills!
• I am also part of an amazing group of ladies taking part in a 24 hour relay running event next August.  There are 8 of us and you complete as many laps as possible in the 24 hour period, with each lap being just under 10k.  I managed to talk everyone into this so need to have my mojo back!

Help!

I have been toying with idea for a while of joining a running club but was a tad bit scared to do so.  I imagined everyone would be very serious, very speedy and then there would be me.

I have been running regularly since January and although my times are much improved and I can now do up to 10k I still haven’t found that love for running that other runners have.  I want to, I really do, but I just don’t like it that much.  This is pretty much how I feel about running:

But it is part of my fitness and weight loss journey so I do it.  Also I run because punching people is frowned upon. Mostly because I really like food.

I still puff and pant like an asthmatic dog with one lung.

I still go bright red almost instantly.

I still sweat like a beast.

I still wear my sunglasses no matter what the weather as they have become some sort of security blanket as I run so people cannot see my entire face!

There is a running club that leaves from my gym, Havering ’90 Joggers, and I have seen them regularly running out and then returning and so yesterday I joined their facebook page and asked the question of what I should do to join?  I got quite a few replies and everyone seemed very friendly so I headed there last night and wandered in on my own and found a lovely lady called Liz who was talking to another newbie.  We were given some forms to fill out regarding our health and for insurance and then she asked both of us if we could run, which we both said we could, what our times were for 5k and 10k, which we told her.  The new guy said he could do a half marathon in an hour and a half so I announced that I would not be running with him!  We all laughed but I was serious I couldn’t keep with him!

I was buddied up with some runners who were at about the same pace and others grouped in the same way and off we set.

It is so near to my home that it was nice to be running on roads that I knew.  The loop we took was just under 5k, we stayed together and it took 30 mins.  This is a little slower than I usually run but we managed to chat the whole way round and I actually enjoyed it.

So I am now a member of a running club. Who would have thought it?!

It is of course Monday which is weigh in day and so after a busy week and weekend I was looking for a loss but I got nothing so stayed the same again but onwards and upwards and all that!

So I am managing to get a sub 30 minute 5k on pretty much all of my runs now (I am not talking minutes off but below the 30 minute mark) and the 10k is always around the 1 hour mark but I have managed once to get a sub 1 hour 10k run in.  I run with my dog and the loop from mine to the park sees me having to stop at a set of traffic lights, then again briefly to take the dog off and put her back on her lead and of course if she goes to the toilet I have to stop to clear it up so it is very rarely a run where there are no stops unless it is an event but I do keep them to literally just this – it is not stopping to walk because I can’t do it but if I did have to stop to walk a bit then who cares at least I am doing it right?

On the 5k can do this without stopping with no problem and on the 10k I have not yet done this without stopping though it is for literally 40 seconds on average of stopping on the events I have done so almost there but every time I set off for this distance it is in my head not to stop not to stop.

The next distance is a half marathon.  Not that I want to complete a half marathon and nor have I signed up for one but in terms of events it pretty much goes 5k, 10k, half marathon and marathon.  To put it into perspective a half marathon is 22k so the leap from 10k to 22k to me is daunting and would actually encourage me to run……..in the opposite direction.

On facebook I follow a page run by the lovely Julie Creffield called The Fat Girl’s Guide to Running.  You may have heard of her or seen her on the TV or her website www.toofattorun.co.uk.  I had the pleasure of meeting her briefly when I was in Hackney’s Victoria Park earlier in the year supporting my husband in the Hackney half marathon that Julie was also taking part in and she was lovely.  I did that awkward ‘excuse me I read your blog and love it’ introduction but thankfully she was gracious about it and stopped to say hi and talk to me before heading off to the start.

I instantly liked Julie when I first started reading about her and found her website as she is a normal woman.  Too often do you see adverts for diets, gyms, exercising etc and the people in them look like their body fat percentage is probably 1!  You know the ones I am referring to where they are trying to sign you up by showing you an amazing lady who is a size 8 to incentivise you and you think good for her she looks amazing but really?!  Julie describes herself as not your typical runner because she is fat (her words not mine).  She is an inspiration and like me blogs when she runs.  I blog when I have done a run or bike ride and as I have said before if I am honest my blog was a selfish way to keep me on track.  Julie is similar as I read on her website – no running then no blogging.

Recently it came up on my newsfeed that Julie was hosting a half day workshop in London for half marathon training.  To take part you must have completed a 10k, which I have done.  I quickly sent a message off to Julie telling her how nervous I was and that I could do a 10k and wanted to up the distance and the workshop sounded like a good way to do so.  She replied very quickly and was lovely assuring me that I would be fine and that there are a range of pace groups so nobody is left behind.  Before I could change my mind I signed up.  Then panicked…….a lot.

We would be running 10 miles over the course of the morning and as my furthest is 10k which is just over 6 miles I was getting more jittery as the day got nearer.  Before I left the house I went to the loo about 4 times and then again when I got to Hyde Park and then again before we set off into the park to begin.  I don’t know what I was worried about!

The workshop was amazing and talking to like minded ladies was such an inspiration especially to know that all the worries and insecurities I had most of the other ladies shared.  I am always worried about being heckled, laughed at, being last, having to walk and the list goes on but as we were all talking about what we worried about it turned out the list was the same for most!  Julie put it simply – who cares?  Why would you care what someone else thinks?  Ignore them!  And in a bid to put us at ease more we partnered up and simply laughed at each other and did we die?  Of course not!  Though I am now sporting some rather ridiculous looking tan lines.

To begin we stretched and I must admit I never stretch before a run, which I know is bad but bike or run there is no stretching for me and in future I will make sure that there is!  Then we spoke about paces.  I always assume I have one pace and that is it but Julie was teaching us the difference, and importance, of race pace, your normal pace and recovery pace.  I’ve been told by so many people that essentially you need to go slower to go faster so to mix up my runs with slower paced runs and also interval or speed work.  Again my reply is usually I only have one speed.

Julie also ran through the drop back technique with us and as a cyclist I am aware of cycling in a group and taking it in turns on the front and essentially it is the same with running so no one person is left at the back – it is never fun to be the one stuck at the back!

We then set off for our first lap of the park (which is 8k) and we had to do so as a group ensuring we dropped back when necessary and checking our pace as we went.  It was a slower pace than I am used to but with my nerves I was pleased not to be running at full gas for the whole session and it gave everyone a chance to chat with each other as we ran.  At the Prudential ride we rode as a group and again it made the whole experience so much more enjoyable.

We got to a point in the park where we split into two groups and had to run around an oversized pond/small lake in our groups and the first group back won.  One group headed off anti clockwise and the other clockwise and as we passed we hi-fived each other.  It was to be run at race pace.  Race pace is where you give that final sprint at the end of a run and this was about 800 metres and race pace for that made us all puff!  Was great fun!  Never thought I would hear myself saying that!

Once we had done a full lap we got split into groups based on ability and we then ran our second lap staying with our group.  This was at my usual speed of about 9-9.5 minute miles.  We were all aching a bit more on the second lap!  But we completed it and when everyone returned we had a group pic:

Then we headed off for some lunch.  We ended up falling into natural conversation about events we have done and those we have coming up.  How much we had all enjoyed the day and Julie found that she had been tweeted by someone in the park who was behind us as we ran saying how lovely it was to see us all – amazing!

I found I was the only one who had not yet taken the plunge and booked up for a half marathon – they are all much braver than me!  I am tempted now though – if I crawl over the finish line that still counts right?  And i still get a medal right?

If anyone is, like me, on some sort of fitness journey or starting running and is thinking of getting some advice on running or techniques or increasing your distance I cannot recommend Julie enough!!

You can find her website here: http://toofattorun.co.uk/

You can find her facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/TheFatGirlsGuidetoRunning