After my crash on my Newcastle to London ride I lost my mojo.  I’d trained hard for that ride and it was my main event for the year and I am devastated that mother nature decided instead of me finishing, that a hefty gust of wind would knock me off and knock me out!  I’ve had many messages and kind words from people for which I am very grateful.  I’ve received cards and flowers and yet could not pull myself together.

I worked from home as I was pretty sore and stiff and really emotional so most people I spoke to or saw have had to deal with me in tears (sorry).

Everyone has said that it was out of my control and when you end up in an ambulance that is the time to accept your ride is over.  I know all of this is true but it doesn’t make it easier.  And they are right there are other events and other rides and the training is not for nothing.

I got taken out for dinner by my lovely friend Helen and taken over the park for a picnic by another lovely friend Danielle.  One card I received from the lovely Laura was this and although I didn’t feel neither brave or strong I loved it – I could be brave and strong again.

I was due to go to Nuclear Races for a training day with Mudd Queens and didn’t want to go there either but the lovely ladies convinced me to go and so I did and I am so pleased I did.  I couldn’t do much as I was still sore but its one of my favourite places and I started in tears and finished with a huge smile on my face.

The thought of getting back on my bike quite frankly petrified me.  But after a good day on Saturday I asked my husband to go out with me for a short slow ride to see how I got on.  I can see on my garmin my heart rate and it was higher than usual, my breathing was all over the place and I felt completely panicked.  I had hoped I would get on and think I was worrying about nothing but I was freaked out.  To top it off the wind was out to play as well.  I cried at one point as I wanted to get a drink but was so scared to take my hand off the handlebar to get the bottle.  I got there in the end and finished the ride and stopped crying.  It wasn’t pretty but I got it done.

I finished the weekend with friends at a bbq where once again there were tears but ended up an amazing evening finishing in a hot tub in my underwear (trying to forget that part) with lots of laughs and smiles, which did me the world of good!

Also went back out on my club beginners ride last night and those guys never fail to make me laugh, again was nervous but had a giggle at one member who got a puncture and ended up changing it in front of a tyre sign!

I’ve done a blog post before about how important it is to have a support network and this week showed me once again that my support network is amazing and so this is just a quick post to say thank you all once again!

When training for events and to increase fitness I have found one of the most important elements is a support network.  For me I would say this is invaluable.

My support includes the following:

• My cycling club Romford CC
• My secondary cycling club Hornchurch CC
• My running club Havering ’90 Joggers
• Members of a local triathlon club (although I am not a member) Havering Tri
• And of course friends and family

I can say with absolute certainty that whilst I am not at the end of my fitness and weight loss journey that I would not have achieved what I have to date without the support I received.

They have all been people who provided both emotional and practical help and were a tower of strength for me, especially when I was not feeling so strong myself, and I know are a group of individuals who all provide support for one another and will always help if they are able to.

Now I know many people do this alone and that is also possible but to give some examples of support I am referring to:

• My husband first and foremost who I am lucky is a cycling coach but also takes time out to ride and run with me at my pace to help me improve.  He is also at every event I take place in and vice versa with me doing the same for him.  He is also like my very own accountability partner as he knows what I am trying to achieve and can help encourage me along the way.
• Cycling club where there are too many to mention who have taken time to cycle with me and help me, and continue to do so, as I try and improve.  An example is when my husband and his friend Tim were going to do the Ride London 100 mile bike ride together in 2014 and decided they would ride with me instead, which was amazing.  Not to mention my secondary cycling club who are just as supportive.
• Running club with many who welcomed me and the amazing interval sessions conducted by Dave.
•  Local triathlon club that I am not actually a member of, though my husband is, but I am lucky that I have numerous friends in the club who have always offered support and advice when needed.
• Friends and family who I think for the most part just think I am a bit mental trying to do all this stuff – I probably am but then again the best people are!  Especially Helen, Laura, Steve and Nikki who is just so positive and mental and I love them all.
• I can’t forget the amazing Team Scrambled Legs who I have done obstacle runs with and who I am sure I would be left dangling on a 4 meter wall or face down in mud if it were not for their assistance.
• The amazing Nuclear Races family, especially Lisa, Tracey and Craig who have all helped me with hints and tips at their obstacle training sessions.
• And of course everyone who reads my ramblings on this blog – I’ve made virtual friends with several people who also offer encouragement which is amazing and really helps!

I can’t recommend joining a club enough as it can make such a difference.

I know I don’t look like your average sports person (I won’t say athlete as definitely doesn’t fit) and yes it can be hard when you tell people what you are training for and they look at you in complete disbelief but I am and I will and I continue to improve and will continue even more so.

Don’t expect everyone to understand the journey you are on.  Surround yourself with people who believe in you.  Strive for progress and not perfection.  Allow yourself to be a beginner as no one starts at the top – I made this mistake comparing myself to many people who have been running/cycling etc for years and wondering why I am not yet at their level.  Most importantly don’t give up and go and smash those goals!

I’ve just been on a two week holiday in the States and with me I took my running kit.  Running is not something I find easy and I knew if I took two weeks off I would struggle when I returned and was going to be going to some really pretty areas which would help motivate me to run whilst on holiday and so that is what I did.

That and the fact that I’ve been to the States a lot before I knew what to expect with portion sizes and how hard it would be to resist some of the tasty foods on offer – would be rude to travel all that way and not have pancakes, good pizza, bagels and lots of wine too!

I would like to say they were just casual runs, which in one way they were but I got lost on every single one – my sense of direction is not something to brag about.  Still I was not out to break any records (which is good as I am not that quick) and so took the opportunity to take photos on my way.

I ran in Basking Ridge, New Jersey:

Also Central Park in Manhattan whilst killing time as my husband took part in the Gran Fondo New York 100 mile bike race:

Next was back to Basking Ridge followed by Yardley in Philadelphia:

And finally onto Chicago to run along some of Lake Michigan.

As I ran I not only took photos of the areas but also houses up for sale because well you never know.  Could I live in the States? Absolutely! Either in the burbs with a house with a wrap around deck or in the city with Central Park on my doorstep – not asking for much really.

Whilst running in Central Park I found myself in the middle of an organised walk for Aids and being nosey listened for a short while to the speech being made which was very political and anti Trump and so I soon set off on my way again – as far as I could go as they were closing off parts for the event.

In Chicago originally I had said to my husband I intended to run round the lake.  Yes that is right I had no idea how big Lake Michigan was so when we arrived he pointed to what looked like the sea as you can’t event see the other side and said that’s the lake you are running round ha ha.  We just ended up running alongside it for a while – it was so hot and I am not great in the heat.  Absolutely stunning though.

In total I ran over 28 miles whilst on holiday and I am pretty pleased with that – also made me feel less guilty about having the odd Reese’s peanut butter cup and knowing the final leg of our trip in Chicago would be with friends who I could count on for a good drink – to celebrate their recent baby of course ;-p

Have a weighed myself since I returned? Um…….no!

As you know I did Brentwood half marathon on Sunday, my first half marathon, and if you read my previous blog post you will know it was not my best moment.

Since then I’ve had loads of comments, messages and support from people telling me how well I did and how I should be chuffed with myself. I am my biggest critic and so since Sunday have spent most of my time either feeling sorry for myself, sulking, beating myself up or having a bit of a cry.

I will explain why.

All of my training runs went better than that one event I was actually training for. My pacing was better in my training runs.   My hill running was better in my training runs.  My breathing was better in my training runs. I didn’t feel as down on myself in my training runs. It was like all the advice I’d been given and everything I’d learned just went out of the window and I fell apart.

My original goal when signing up for my first half marathon was to complete it in under 3 hours.  As my training continued and went well I then realised my goal should be to complete it in under 2.5 hours. Now I had received a lot of advice telling me that for my first half marathon I should just be aiming to complete it.

Before the event I wanted to complete the actual distance and did so with the help of my husband.  We completed it in 2 hours 21 minutes and so I think, rightly or wrongly, in my head I had this time that I was centred around and was secretly hoping I would better that. 

The week before I spent most of it in bed with laryngitis and a fever that completely wiped me out and despite lots of advice that I should pull out I decided to do the event regardless. Anyone who knows me will know I am way too stubborn and not doing it was not an option.

I was disappointed that I had several stops for water as my throat was on fire.  I was disappointed I overheated pretty quickly into the run.  I was disappointed the hills and inclines beat me.  I was disappointed I felt like I let down the two lovely friends who ran with me (who both could have smashed that but ran with me instead). I was disappointed that I found it such a struggle.  I was disappointed in how I felt and had to keep apologising to my friends running with me. I was disappointed my time was 8 minutes slower than my training run of the same distance. I was disappointed my husband would have been patiently waiting for me at the finish.

But you know what?

I did complete a half marathon. I did complete a half marathon when I wasn’t well.  I did complete a half marathon in under 2.5 hours, which was the original goal. So I didn’t do too bad I guess?

  
As a treat my husband has now entered the both of us into the Hackney half marathon and we will run together and I will not let this beat me!

This Girl Can!